Here is a post I found in my drafts from last year.  Almost a year later, I have to admit that George is making slow progress at not thwarting all my efforts.  However, he is still only three, so it may be awhile...

Because, really, when you see a nice, full-sized roll of toilet paper, sometimes you just have to grab the end and run it from one bathroom, across the house, to another bathroom, taking care to go through all the halls so that you empty the entire roll along the way.

Anyway--the post from last year:

My Reality

As I watched George dump the newly sorted laundry onto the floor, I thought to myself, "why, WHY the adversity at every turn?!?  And from a member of my own family!  Who thinks he is helping, no less!

(Hmmmm...as I typed that, I just realized I have had those exact same thoughts about the fully grown man I am married to...who I love very much.  Hi, sweetheart!)

As I often do in these sorts of situations, I turned it into a metaphor-for-life-moment--you know, in case I ever have to give a talk in church on adversity, or patience, or long-suffering, or refined in our trials, or child rearing (of course, if people read this blog, they will know better than to ask me to speak on child rearing...).

I pondered on the whole "there must be opposition in all things" line of thinking.  Thought through "we become stronger when we have forces opposing us..."  Followed the "we must be patient in our trials" path.

Eventually, I simply thought, "I feel like I am in an "X-TREME CHALLENGE" reality TV show and George is my host."

It goes something like this:

George, with a gleaming white, Ryan Seacrest-type smile:

Sherry Cutler, you've  proven in the past that you can finish the laundry in a reasonable amount of time--and do a good job, too!  But how about when I dump the sorted laundry out onto the floor and take all of the clean, folded laundry off of the shelves and shove it back into the dirty laundry piles?!?  (Camera pans to George's now intense face) CAN YOU DO IT IN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME NOW?!?  AND STILL DO A GOOD JOB?

Me (camera coming in for a close up as I sit crying in a heap of laundry):

NO!  NO!  I CAN'T DO IT!  IT CAN'T BE DONE!

Or

George:

Sherry, you've got to get your kids to a soccer game, dance class, piano lesson and baseball game tonight.  But before that, you've got to feed everyone dinner.  In the past, you've shown that you can fix dinner, get everyone fed, and still get them all to their activities ON TIME!  This is impressive, Sherry, but how about if I put my feet on top of your feet, and wrap my arms around your legs so that everywhere you go, I go too?  HOW ABOUT THAT?  CAN YOU FIX DINNER, GET EVERYONE FED, AND GET PEOPLE TO THEIR ACTIVITIES ON TIME IF I DO THAT?

(The camera moves in to reveal George and me, BOTH crying in a tangled mess on the floor, because he got all wrapped up in my legs, tripping me and causing me to fall on top of him)

Me:

Apparently not.  Let's not try THAT one again, K?

How about:

George:

Sherry, you've got to finish that newsletter today.  Tomorrow is the deadline, but you are almost done. A simple task, right?  Well, how about you work on that, and I play quietly with my toys, giving you a false sense of security so that when you look up and I am GONE, and nowhere inside the house, you are SHOCKED because I was just RIGHT THERE two seconds ago!

This particular challenge brings in different elements than the others because not only is it physical, as you race around trying to find me, but also mental and as you try to decipher where I have gone, and (here is the best part) emotional as you feel that sense of PANIC, wondering how far away from home I've gone!  (Hee, hee, hee!)

And though you may put on your game face, and pretend that you won't come after me, we all know you will, don't we?  Because, I am TWO, for cryin' out loud, and who in their right mind would let a two-year-old wander all over the neighborhood by himself?!?  We wouldn't want to have to bring in the authorities, now would we?

(The camera zooms out from a close-up of George's face with intent to reveal his whole body, only to find that when it gets to the spot where George's whole body is supposed to be, HE IS GONE!)

(The camera then tries to pan to me, to show my reaction, but finds that I also AM GONE!  Because I am already outside, leaping over the neighbors' fences, trying to figure out whose backyard he is in...again.)

...aaannnddd the newsletter, of course, doesn't get done.